Posts Tagged ‘modern cuisine’

Im a huge fan of Jose Andres. Im not a huge fan of food critics that overrate restaurants just because of who the chef is.  For Irene Virbila to give The Bazaar a 4-star review is historical – like the invention of clear pepsi, or shoes that light up when you walk (anyone born in the 80s will know what Im talking about).  So, when I was invited to dine at the hot new Andres joint, I was excited.

Then I walked in and saw this:

teddy bears

For Sale. …

I sit down at my table, which was lit with hot pink stripes under the glass.  I think I saw something like this in The Running Man. Since we’re a large table of 12, we were eating off of a pre fix menu.  As I made my way thru the following courses, I started to wonder where the future of food is going. What the point of this restaurant is….?  And then, why is Marcel from Top Chef working here? (I later realized it was a perfect fit…)

oh god. it is.

foie cotton candy (terrine wrapped in cotton candy (good, but grainy)

foie cotton candy

sweet potato chips with yogurt foam and tamarind (eh..)

sweet potato, yogurt, tamarind

jamon iberico and pan con tomate (rockin good)

jamon iberico, pan con tomate

[not pictured] “japanese baby food” – a servers direct quote – eel/shiso/yuba (eh..)

Ill interject at this point that the waiter spilled champagne on my leg, looked at my leg, then at me, and then kept pouring. What a trooper!Thanks for the 4-star towel-off.

Next was salty potatoes and olive-parsley puree (good), and yes, that’s the table with the air-traffic lights.

salty potatoes and parsley-olive puree

the “canning” section of the menu which included king crab with Peruvian raspberries (great, but the raspberries had about 3,000 miles on them which REALLY affected, well, everything about the dish) and mussels with garlic and ginger (great)

king crab/raspberries, mussles/garlic/ginger

Croquetas of chicken, which tasted like chicken pot pie (not what I was expecting).


I realize that after spending roughly a year living and breathing in Spain, that Ive had some great croquetas, these however, were not those croquetas. At this point a busser hit the back of my seat with his tray, looked at me, made eye contact and kept walking. No 4-star:  “oops, sorry”.  So much for service.

After eating this much, and being ignored by the waitstaff, I was pretty fed up with dinner.  Especially for how great it was supposed to be.

Arugula salad, organized. Which I guess means, “sushi”.

organized arugala salad

So the next dish was an interpretation of shrimp and pasta. There is no picture, but imagine a small saute pan filled with short, brown strands of pasta and 4 small shrimp.  That’s it. The server served us, tableside, for this. By the time 12 people had a small handful of this odd dish, it was cold, and still not tasty.  The service of this dish puzzled me. Why?? Especially for a 12-top. Really weird. It’s not like the tableside service elevated the dish at all, so whats the point? No picture, sorry. Whatever you’re imagining in your head now is how it looked.

Cauliflower cous cous, vegetables, harissa. (good) It was served with the veal cheeks, which desperately needed a set, and more cooking.

cauliflower cous cous, veggies, harissaveal cheeks

Since it was someone’s birthday, a friend opted for the liquid nitrogen-frozen “Dragon’s Breath” rice krispy treat. They freeze a rice krispy treat with nitrogen, you put it in your mouth, breathe out like a dragon and people go nuts.

Desserts are not typically anything restaurants do well anymore.  Most people rely on standards like some chocolate thing, or caramel what-have-you, or if you’re really trying too hard, the banana dessert that too many people try to make but fail hard at doing so.  So we come to dessert time here at the bazaar. Lets see. Its March, I think Asian pears might be in season…So we get chocolate foam, pear sorbet, and raw asian pear (I had to ask the server what it was cause there was NO flavor). The flan was actually much better and had a firmer texture which I liked/preferred to the traditional gelatin-y smooth custard.

worst dessert ever


That’s it for the food. I’ll say, the food really let me down but the service killed whatever was left.  A server spilled food IN someones purse, and on my leg.It is all too obvious that the front of the house is very inexperienced and there was no true leader orchestrating anything.  The food was all flash, and little flavor. The food that was the simplest and strangely most Spanish, was the most delicious. I do not want to come off as some self-righteous asshole, but when a restaurant gets so much press and 4 stars from someone who never gives them out, you expect a whole lot.  The biggest let down was the service, the food wasn’t far behind though.

Then you get to walk out past the bizarre, and out into the night…

adult area

pipaparazzi pics for sale

oh god. it is.


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